Kissing the Blarney Stone

I find myself in a rather curious situation in that whilst I was honoured to be asked to write this report from the player's perspective, it is on the back of attempting to hang up my boots! That said it is good to see, from an ex-skippers standpoint,  that the All Stars are in very capable and committed (need to be/should be - sic) hands. Having played infrequently for the past two years, I have enjoyed watching the AS side develop and retain the 'All Inclusive' package that engenders everything we stand for. This week was my  second outing in as many weeks and although it has taken me until Thursday to walk again, the new regime has resurrected my (and other old gits to follow) wish to play just one more game.........or two?   The match itself was an Irish masterclass of Vets rugby; All Stars young, old and older all attempting to create a thing of sporting beauty only to be foiled by an older and wily London Irish side. Forget the green (?) hordes that inhabit the world of Catt, Premiership, Madjeski, National Squads and salary caps...........this was the real thing. Let's face it, when your opposite number's Christian name is Sade (Saydee not Sharday!!) and half the pack sound like extras from the famous beach scene in Ryans' Daughter (c'mon you can't be that young?), you know the Irish have arrived!  

Linking a fierce and competitive AS pack that, included the very welcome ' first AS cap' for ex-club skipper Tony Hobson, the old firm (infirm) partnership of Marshall, Teflon and Dropsy worked a midfield brimming with youth and experience. Mark ' the hat' Taylor bossed the midfield ably assisted by Un-Pc Brookes who looked to the back three of Copus, Parker and Dave who had youth and hairgel on their side!  Alex arrived 10 years late for his first game for the AS!  

Skipper Yates (sounds like a fish paste) ran himself and half the blooody pack ragged trying to keep up, whilst Pat Berton crashed around and around and around. Young Bruce represented the U-21's and kept the referee informed as where he was going wrong! Tower One, Andy 'Large' looked for holes that one day he'll fit through with Tower Two, Tony Hobson doing his very best to keep up the 'separated from Andy at birth' competition. Gnarled old campaigners Darrlyl 'Chip and Chase', Drew 'Claret' Sneddon and Evergreen McNorth, combined with the busy Jim Barnett and welcome addition to the front row of Children's TV host Tim Taz Davey!  

Our referee for the day suggested that he was not Chris White (of International Panel fame) and that if he was he would be paid a great deal of money. General consensus ( famous Chinese ref) indicated that our man with the whistle actually thought he WAS Chris White! However, his 'school master' style of control did nothing to prevent an experienced and clever Irish side work the margins of the RFU Lawbook. Cheating is for footballers; rugby players practice the Dark Arts which sounds so much better but require a degree of stealth and intelligence!  

Pace was always in the AS favour but an Irish side so adept at 'Old School' rugby maintained a finely balanced match only broken by one try apiece. Trying to put together a picture of the AS score in the first half is a little like trying to construct a 1000 piece jigsaw. Too many bits! End result; a rather farcical in goal game of 'bobble ball' which presented a quick witted Matt Parker with an AS try that was as surprising to all as the look on his face!! Irish, in fairness, created the best score; backs and forwards combining through the midfield, quick hands, stretched AS defence and final a pass to the incoming Irish wing who for the previous 50 minutes looked a bit of a liability!!  

Irish did have an opportunity to clinch the game with a rather tenuous penalty awarded on the AS ten yard line. Requesting a 'pot at goal', the Irish No. 9 who looked more like No's, 1, 2 and 3, stepped up. Pushing the ball wide of the uprights, although it was good for length, justice was served! Five all resulted from a game that given a little more space from the 'Man in the Middle' and slightly less chat from the AS should have gone our way.

Teflon

(Mark Alexander)